Week Five- It's over

Welcome Back.

I hope that you enjoyed getting a glimpse into my life with my teammates and roommates and were able to learn something.

I really enjoyed this opportunity to apply a more keen observation to my interactions with others. I learned so much about my impact on those around me, and that essentially I want that impact to be good.

The textbook talks about friendship, and there are a few things that I have found true from my own observations.

• Proximity. First, imagine how near my roommates and I are physically... Okay, thought about that? If you can't quite grasp that, let you fill you in. Three of us are in a class together. All four of us have 8am classes (we walk to class together), we are in the same ward, we all play soccer (which in the fall meant that we were with each other more than away from each other), and we live in the same house. We are so physically close. The textbook says, "Proximity allows people the opportunity to get to know one other and discover their similarities—all of which can result in a friendship or intimate relationship." 
• Just by virtue of the fact that we live close to one another, I have had the amazing opportunity to get to know these three wonderful women, and to build relationships with them. 
• Familiarity. When you are physically close to someone, you become familiar with them, and people want to be around people they are familiar with. There is this idea that the more often we are around a certain stimulus, the more likely we are the view that stimulus in a positive light. 
• I have witnessed this. I like being around my friends because I know how they will react. I know what jokes they will laugh at. I know that on Thursday's, Tatiana and I will enjoy our night of TGIT. (If you don't know what that is, look it up). I know things that will make them happy, and I know things that will make them upset. And I like when things are predictable. 
• Reciprocity. "Another key component in attraction is reciprocity; this principle is based on the notion that we are more likely to like someone if they feel the same way toward us. In other words, it is hard to be friends with someone who is not friendly in return. Another to think of it is relationships are built on give and take; if one side is not reciprocating, then the relationship is doomed. Basically, we feel obliged to give what we get and to maintain equity in relationships."
• In the relationship among my roommates, I have noticed what damage it can do when a relationship among them goes one-sided for a time. I think that it is difficult in a home with the same three people for many hours a day to maintain a constant give and take relationship. 
• Friendship. "Research has found that close friendships can protect our mental and physical health when times get tough."
• Amen, Amen, Amen. 

Overall, I have learned so much from these girls. I have gained a lot of insight about how my interactions impact others. I have learned a lot of important things about relationships, and gained insights about the world of social psychology. 

http://nobaproject.com/textbooks/together-the-science-of-social-psychology/modules/love-friendship-and-social-support

Week Four- Kill em with Kindness

Welcome Back.

"Empathy does lead to increased helping, it does so not because of pure altruism but because thinking of another person's pain makes us sad, and one way to make ourselves feel better is to be helpful. Another possibility is that taking another person's perspective actually causes us to feel some overlap between ourselves and that other person, and so we help them the way we would help ourselves."

This week I decided to take a break from driving my roommates crazy and tried to serve. I cleaned. I did the dishes as often as I could, I vacuumed the house, I swept the floor, I baked goodies (Yes, I tried to fatten them up;)

I tried to be as giving as possible. I wanted to see how the mood changed in the home, and how I felt differently. I know what it's like to be a college student, stressed, working, and having too much on your plate. I know that when things around the house are taken care of, it makes things a lot less stressful. According to APA, I believe that I wanted to do this because I was able to see the other person's perspective and help them the way that I would want to be helped.

I noticed the mood uplifted and vibes around the house were much more positive and uplifting. I also noticed an increase in love towards those that I live with. (Which I desperately needed... for reasons I will not disclose).

Some things that I learned about this experience:

• "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." This is true!
• Service makes my own problems seem less important
• Being kind improves relationships with those whom the kindness is extended towards
• I believe that you can have pure motives in giving service

http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec06/helping.aspx

Week Three- Butter

Welcome Back.

Once again I have decided to torment my roommate in order to gauge a reaction. (Is this even human?).

THIS time, I decided to manipulate the butter. Yes, you read that right. Butter.

This roommate of mine randomly started leaving her butter out in bowl near the toaster. And often, I would take the butter and stick it in the freezer. It would take her a moment to find her butter when she needed it (and I may or may not have laughed internally watching her try to find it), but she would find it, say, "what the heck?" and attempt to butter her toast.

What was particularly interesting about this scenario is my roommate did confront me about it verses the last time (see previous post) when she didn't say anything. She finally asked us who kept putting her butter in the freezer, and I laughingly admitted to it.

This begs the question of why she chose to confront this issue, but not the other. Also, why is it important to confront an issue at all?

Psychology Today has an answer, "The most important reason is the deep psychological one: You matter, your opinions matter, and having a voice is worth a little discomfort for you and those around you."

So maybe she decided that the butter issue was important enough, and that she mattered enough to get to the bottom of freezer mystery.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/201406/how-confront

Week Two- Timer

Welcome back.

Okay, so this week was kind of crazy. So I have a roommate (I'm not going to say who), and she likes to leave at the last possible second. She doesn't like being late, but she doesn't waste any time between leaving the house and getting to class. This late-leaving tendency clashes with myself just a bit because I like to leave, and arrive early. I hate that feeling of being rushed and "Well crap, are we going to make it on time?".

This being said, I wanted to be able to leave and walk to class with this roommate, since we both have 8ams each day of the week. In my head, I created the perfect solution. I set the kitchen clock 5 minutes fast (which I knew she hated...).

In my mind, this game started.

I would change the clock. 

A few days would pass.

She would change it back. 

A few days would pass.

I would set it five minutes fast. 

A few days would pass.

She would change it back.

This happened several times, and lasted for several weeks. The overall purpose of this "mini-experiment" was to see if this small re-occurring change would cause a confrontation between myself and this roommate. I am pleased to say that it didn't come to a confrontation, although I am not sure why.

Through my research I have found that people often avoid confrontation to avoid certain types of pain.

• "Fear of loss. Some fear that confrontation will result in the other person leaving or determining that you are too high-maintenance to deal with."
• "Fear of causing pain. Some believe the other person is too fragile to handle being confronted, so they avoid the conflict in an effort to protect the other."
• "Fear of strain. Confrontation can be physically stressful- your muscles tense, your pulse rises, the adrenaline starts to flow-so some actually avoid the physical sensations that accompany it."
• "Fear of failure. You might raise your point only to see it shot down. Maybe you are off base, and a confrontation will bring that into light."

If I had to guess, the reason she refused to confront me about it was the either the first of the last reason, although it could be likely that she just didn't care enough to say anything. I guess we will never know. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/201406/how-confront

Week 1- Introductions

Hello everyone!!

My name is Savannah Uri and I am a Biochemistry major in my junior year at Southern Virginia University. I do play soccer, but my favorite hobbies include playing the piano, backpacking, hiking, scuba diving, crossfit, and reading. I am basically a nature freak if you can't tell. I plan to serve a mission and then return for my final year of my undergrad. I've got hopes to go to medical school and become a pediatric surgeon. And yes, I would probably sleep in an oreo.

Among my many science classes, I decided I wanted to add a Social Psychology course. As a project for this class- I have chosen to do simple observations on the girls that I live with. The following blog posts will be explanations of my observations. The purpose of this project is to have a more acute view of the relationships between teammates who live together and spend a majority of time with one another.

To preview, throughout the following weeks I will be doing things such as:

• Going through a day not speaking (or as little as possible)
• Chatting all day about senseless "fluff"
• Smiling excessively
• Try to start minor arguments 
• Etc.

Along with simple things like stated above, I will just write down observations of things that my roommates do. Depending on the action- I may add my own personal experience to what happened as well. 

Sounds pretty interesting, right?

Well, I hope you said yes. Because It's time to introduce my roommates.

Tatiana Monsen



This here is my good pal Tatiana, or Tat as I typically call her. She is my roommate. So basically, we sleep together... don't worry- not in the same bed, just the same room. She is a senior, psychology major and a star soccer player for the Knights.

She is obsessed with the TV show Grey's Anatomy, and is on the hunt to find her McDreamy.

When asked the following questions, this is how she responded:

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Introvert
Are you confrontational or non-confrontational?
Non-confrontational 
Are you good at keeping secrets?
Yes (with a so-so head shake)
Do you get upset if people tease you?
It depends, like usually I can take it but sometimes I don't. 
On a scale of 1-10 how much do the emotions of the people you live with affect you? 5
On a scale of 1-10 how much do your emotions affect the people you live with?7
What is your favorite thing about living with Reilly?
She cleans
What is your favorite thing about living with Kora?
Never a boring moment
What is your favorite thing about living with me?
Can always make me laugh
Would you sleep in an Oreo?
Are you serious? No. 

Kora Jewell
This here is my pal Kora. She is a junior here at SVU, and is an FCD and Psychology double major.
She loves Cheetahs and jingle bell earrings. She's outgoing, fun, and loves to flirt ;)

When asked if she would answer the following questions, she refused. She isn't too keen on me doing this for my project, so basically she refuses to be any "active" part of the assignment. Observations will be done anyway. (Is that rude?)

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Are you confrontational or non-confrontational?
Are you good at keeping secrets?
Do you get upset if people tease you?
On a scale of 1-10 how much do the emotions of the people you live with affect you?
On a scale of 1-10 how much do YOUR emotions affect the people you live with?
What is your favorite thing about living with Reilly?
What is your favorite thing about living with Tatiana?
What is your favorite thing about living with me?
Would you sleep in an Oreo?

Reilly Andersen

Now this here is my pal Reilly (the one in the middle). She is awesome- she is a firework from Mesa, AZ who absolutely hates the snow. She is a senior, second oldest of 10 kids, and a FCD major. She absolutely loves chewing ice (Honestly though, we will hear her at like 2am crunching out in the kitchen). She loves kit-kats. And she loves to laugh.  There is a specific snapchat filter that she is slightly obsessed with.r (I'll attach a video haha). And she believes that she is kind of a lost cause- she doesn't know what she is doing with her life.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Intro... I think
Are you confrontational or non-confrontational?
NON
Are you good at keeping secrets?
Uhhh, for the most part yes. If they are big secrets, yes. If not, it doesn't really matter. And I cave, so I kind of screw myself over with that. 
Do you get upset if people tease you?
Umm, It depends- most of the time I have gotten used to it so it doesn't matter as much. I'm like "It doesn't matter". I have developed that over time, because sometimes I take it way too personally than I should. 
On a scale of 1-10 how much do the emotions of the people you live with affect you?
Ohhhh- um, it would probably be like a 9
On a scale of 1-10 how much do YOUR emotions affect the people you live with?
Ummm, I will give it an 8. 
What is your favorite thing about living with Tatiana?
She's always someone that is easy for me to talk to about things, and kind of just open up with. It doesn't happen as often anymore because we don't share the same room- but it's nice to be able to just talk to her. Also, she's got all the hookups. 
What is your favorite thing about living with Kora?
She is a louder voice, so she makes things more lively. She is the source of "all that happens". With her, more people do come over to our apartment and she needs that- and it helps me out. She makes things unexpectable- you never know what you're going to get. 
What is your favorite thing about living with me?
With you, I can completely trust you- very non-judgmental and awesome. You're funny, you can cook, even the way you say things are funny... you're nice, you are my "dishes partner". We keep this place running! You're our peacemaker- our balancer- our buffer. 
Would you sleep in an Oreo?
Would I sleep in an Oreo? Like the cookie?... I would if I could sleep in the cream!

Week one was fairly successful. I'm looking forward to what the rest of semester will bring.